I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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