Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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