I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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