After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
