brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
