this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
