i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
