I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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