He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
