Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
