I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Randomize
