Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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