Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
