next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
