This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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