dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
