We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
