good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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