You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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