Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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