i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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