I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
