i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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