alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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