8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
