I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
