tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
