I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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