Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
