After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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