walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize