did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
