I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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