I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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