Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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