hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
