Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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