He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
