Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
