Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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