when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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