I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
