we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
