somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
