He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
