did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
