Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
