Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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