Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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