We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
